The biggest culture shock in coming to Seoul has been the lack of friendliness amongst strangers. Because I'm familiar with Hawaii's aloha spirit and Thailand's 'mai pen rai' attitudes, the rush-rush mentality of Koreans struck me as offensive.

I am often shoved aside in supermarkets, on buses, and while walking casually along the street. No one apologizes, even though I wait for it. But recently, I heard the perspective of a friend who feels similar culture differences, and I'm realizing that Koreans express their kindness in other ways...it's cultural.

While Thais smile and wave constantly, Koreans are more reserved and focused. It is cultural in Bangkok to be friendly and hospitable (even to tourists), and this is how they express the pride they have in their country, their families, and their king. In Korea, loyalty and honor are also very important, but they are not usually given to strangers but rather reserved for those closest. There is an unwritten social order, and the people live meticulously to abide by its rules and therefore honor their families. In both cultures--Thai and Korean--people are people. There are those with soft, generous hearts and those with hard, selfish ones. Just because a Thai is smiling doesn't mean he is a good person. Just because a Korean is not smiling doesn't mean she is a bad person.

I've experienced many unexpected acts of kindness from local Koreans since having arrived three months ago...and these instances attest to the fact that the cold demeanors on the streets are not indicative of a cold, unfeeling culture. Mika, especially, coaxes openness from others as we explore our new hometown--and we've seen calloused faces break into heartfelt expressions of love.

They are compassionate in their own way; I need only recognize what goodness is around me, beneath the stoic faces and beyond the hurried step.